29/12/2007 @11:39:00 PM
clueless-ness.
why does it make you feel so lost and deserted? why does it make you feel like your life is totally wasted?
i know this is gonna be a super emo entry. and i hate writing super emo entries. they're so hard to write. i'd rather be saying something like ohh... i did this today, i did that yesterday etc. but i cant. (which makes me sound damn stupid but seriously who cares)
like ju said, when something just dangles in front of you like a piece of meat. you just have to go for the one hidden in the corner. why. i just dont get it. zzzzzz
i thought of a whole load of stuff to type out when i was in the shower just now. but it's all disappeared. i guess this is what you call the inspiration you get in the toilet.
oh well i guess basically what is happening is that i feel like i've lost control of my life. i dont know what to do anymore. it's like the feeling where you life just flows on but you have no idea what and why you're doing things. and at the end of the day when you realise you've done someting, this feeling of respect for yourself just get crushed. argh!!! i seriously cant believe myself.
i guess it's all part and parcel of growing up. sounds damn cliche i know. but stupid la! wa lao! i hate it la. i hate responsibilities and decisions and being in charge of my own life. we should all just be free people. go back to the days of the innocently childish age of 15. (is that too old?)
school is starting soon. and i think i'm just gonna faint this sem la. fop stuff to do. xiong modules to take and another A level in 3 months. i already wanna give up even before it starts la! omg die la ..
back to the initial topic, now i'm totally confused. confuzzled, as ju would say. i'm confuzzler than julianne is. HAHA!
confuzzled as to what moves to take, and how to play this fugly game.
confuzzled as to whether i'll make a right decision.
confuzzled as to what i should say out, and what i should keep.
i guess the phrase 'let nature take its course' really plays it's purpose well this time.
so many things happening at the same time.
so many that i sped down PIE just to keep my mind off them.
whats gonna happen now? i wish i knew.
maybe. after some thinking on bus 143 that day from my house bus stop to tp central, i realised i would have done the same thing for her as she had done for me if the situation was the other way. haha and yes. you know i (cough) love you ask much as you (cough) love me.
cannot stand it. haha damn rou ma. stupid julianne toh hui xian you ass.
one day we have to compile our private jokes into a book. i'm serious.
like this one: how are you gonna kill me, ju?
lol :D
15/12/2007 @9:41:00 PM
fine. i SHALL update.
alot has happened since i last posted =.=" OBVIOUSLY!
been mugging super uber xiong-ly for exams. omg spending every single lousy day of my life stuck in the library from 10am to 10pm.. it's not funny. and i think i mug too much already. HAHA!
but oh well.. it was nice meeting new friends
it was nice getting closer to current friends. haha the resident muggers of hum supp gang! lol :D
and finally after weeks of horrendous going crazy days of cramming in the library, eating and getting fat. the exams are finally over!!!!
obviously the papers were terrible. like omg maths. haha =.="
--> well i would think it's called FLIPPING THE PAGES (when the questions all dunno how to do la)
wa lao cannot take it.
after exams activities were hell of a superb blast! haha
steamboat and kbox till 3am on tuesday was the start of a super relax session! we sang our voices out like siao! and as usual i lost my voice again. and i swear we got damn good singer in our clique can! haha YONG CHUAN has a totally unlike-him-but-like-superstar voice! make him sing for you one day. he's damn zai! and valene's voice is oMG damn power. together ... they make the ULTIMATE DUET! hahah!
oh no.. (black silica!!!)
zouk on wed was cool.. cool? it was HELLAVA COOL! JOE WAVED TO ME MUAHAHAHA! hui fen if you're reading this. YO! JOE WAVED TO ME CAN! hahahahah!!!!!!
damn high. lol.. so we left at 3 when i was still half high. and reluctantly we got in to jereld's friends car. and cooled it out during supper. seriously. damn fun! hahaha!
although damnit i still missed mambo. argh.. nvm next time. :D
ok so great. SLC is over as well! finally. after like 3 months of hard work, for those 4 days. it's all over! i'll miss fion and the rest of the comm so much! :D we're the best comm to be!!!! hip hip hooray! hahah! and i'm so not gonna be PRO again. haha XIONG LA! count money count until omg i wanna faint and die on the floor already can! hahahahah!
so now the holidays officially start. as in OFFICIALLY OFFICIALLY haha!
i've jsut started a new drama. why why love. ok the title sounds stupid .but as usual the show is nICE! and i'm addicted again. hahah! and ISWAK 2 is gonna be out soon! so exciting! :D
alright.i love enchanted. i love twirling around the pink tables at 10pm at night after a whole day of studying with vanessa and letting myself sink into the song.
go watch enchanted everyone, it rocks! haha!
ok updated. happy everyone? haha right. HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!