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19/06/2010 @12:05:00 PM

it was just an innocent dinner i had with chris and kellyn in a small fast food stall in the midst of the bustling post-dinner atmosphere of downtown toronto. as they chatted about life in singapore, we slowly drifted to the topic on jc life.

and that was it. all the lovely memories in that light blue, factory worker like uniform came flooding back. i couldnt stop. i just kept telling them about my life in jc, my class, my friends, etc, that for that meal, i practically forgot where i was.

in the blink of an eye, jc was already 4-5 years ago. with a class of graduation year of '06, i can help but think that my life in jc/t19 was worth remembering.

t19, the first thing i remembered was bridge. our class was so obsessed with bridge almost every row of tables in the class, we had 6 rows, had a deck of cards. we even hid cards in the teacher's table drawer and the hidden socket found at the back of the class. every before school/break/lesson/after school time was spent playing bridge and tai dee. it went on non-stop. even though we had at least 10 decks(??) of cards confiscated, the number of decks in class never seemed to decrease.

the back of the class, walls stained black was due to the soccer ball in class. the guys at the back of the class sure had their fair share of fun with the soccer ball in between lessons, and breaks. how we always had scandals for every single person, how we all enjoyed each other's company etc. we studied hard, but we played hard too. of cuz, there were times we pissed teachers and each other off, but now that i think back, these memories. the ones i just described, will stay close to my heart forever.

up till now, although gone extremely distant ways, and continents apart, we still manage to get some parts of the class down for a class gathering once every year and we even invite our home tutor, ms lim. she's like a friend to us. caring and all. how fortunate we were to have her as our teacher.

we used to say in j2 2006, that we would meet up 5 years later on 19th feb. why 19th feb, you might ask: 2t19 was our class. it's now 2010, june. 19feb, 2011 IS approaching. i wonder if people will still remember the meet up. even if they do, most of us will be too busy to meet up, being overseas and having tests, exams and all.

if 2 years passed so quickly, what is 2 months? i thought i just got here. but it's already been 6 weeks. just as how reluctant i was to let jc life pass by, i am even more reluctant for this summer programme to end. dilemma it might be, as half of me wouldnt mind going home soon, to see those i love back at home again, and be back in their company. but then again, as you think about how you'll probably never come back here again in your life. i know, that when i leave toronto in 4 days, i will miss this place.

this place, of lovely buildings, lovely food. lovely scenery. the place where i learnt to grow up, the place where i made unique friends, the place where i learnt cooking skills, the place where i will never forget.

i love you toronto, for the fun laughter peace and joy you have given me.

17/06/2010 @1:37:00 PM

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought
"Hey, you know, this could be something"
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes
The way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay

I'm finally now believing

That maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

all it takes is an extra effort. when simple words and simple phrases can mean so much, it's no longer a 'maybe'.

13/06/2010 @12:00:00 AM

maybe this song is overused.
but if every word and every line is the way i feel, it'll never be.

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

i am ready to come home.

12/06/2010 @3:32:00 PM

sometimes, our mind just goes haywire. it just goes crazy, making you look crazy, sound crazy and act retarded. i hate days like these. when obviously you try to solve something but because of your retardedly screwed up crazy mind and brain muscle cells, you ruin everything, making everything even worse than it even started off.

i'm really sorry for causing any pain, hurt, and trouble. now i realise, how hurting it is to hurt another. i really din mean to have done this, i din expect my retarded brain muscles to screw up and become so unreasonable and stupid.

i hate myself for my extreme self-centeredness, for my horrible impulse replies, and my horrible attitude. i cant do anything now, since the world is so huge. no contact, no pictures, no facial expressions, just words. only now i know how important words are.

words are so fascinating and so horrible. just one word can beautify something, or destroy something forever. digressing, but whatever.

if only the world was abit smaller, everything would be easier. i really din mean to, and i ask for forgiveness, sincerely.

as I sLeep off my thOughts and saVe my brain cElls tonight, i hope tmr will be a better daY. seriOusly, please be a mUch better day.

i really do.

01/06/2010 @11:56:00 AM

to do honours or not to do honours?

i got my results back on sunday night (in canada) and ... well i wouldnt say it was bad, but i wouldnt say it was good.

frankly speaking, i'm really tired of studying .. i want to leave, i want to get out of this place. but in the situation i'm in, i think i'll just have to stick with honours, finish one more year of hell and leave.

it's demoralising to see people do so well when obviously you've been studying harder. not to say i've been studying very hard. but i'm sure i've tried my best at least the last few weeks. it wasnt an easy semester.

seeing people, half of me seems to have this fierce determination to work hard, but the other half feels so horrible. like no matter how much i study i will do better or worse.

everytime i think about honours and what project to do, and whether i should do. that sinking feeling comes in. lost? it's hard to ask for a great advice anyway. everyone seems to be having a different pov on this matter.

i guess its on my own this time.




1t19/2t19 .
aaron.gomez .
alicia .
amanda .
brandon .
carol .
chello .
ervin .
eugene .
eunice .
hai.ling .
janice .
jie.sheng .
ju .
mel .
mich.chow .
rachel .
ronald .
samuel .
wu.yuan .
weng .
xi.er .
yan.ling .
yong.wen .



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