20/09/2008 @12:59:00 AM
overdose of provisional satisfaction.
hmmm, or am i expecting too much?
-- i would like to think not.
then again, what is this test going to prove?
importance? endurance? determination? or just to test me.
and my heart.one year.
do i really have to do this for one year? one and a half probably.
why do i feel like everything seems to be fading away, capturing itself as a disappearing memory as i desperately try to pick up all the bits and pieces.
even so that i dont know what to ask, or what to say, what to feel and how to behave.
attention-seeking is indeed a dangerous 'asset' to have.
the fight for it.
is it even existant? does it even play a part?
sounds perfectly like my ss tutorial. but i think it does.
its like the SO2 bond being polarised,
and so happens that one O atom is mutated and pulls a larger share of electrons.
pr3101, cm2161. thankfully to this 2 tests today which i spent my entire week studying for.
i managed a week of fictitious escape.
--though i think it wasnt of much help
i guess now i have to make a decision,
or decide when the time comes?
what do i want exactly?
some part of me feels like running away.
hiding from the harsh reality.
but that will just make things worse.
do i really have to hold on to the pain?
or let it out, and take the risk.
choices. as usual, they're hard to make. painful to decide.
as i pray and hope it doenst slip through my fingers,
i need to get used to this.
on a lighter note, RECESS WEEK! haha.
another 2 tests after that on week 7. but i'm sure i'll study hard for them!
or will i?