hope is a large word to use. in fact, it's a horrible word to use. it places expectations on people that normally they end up not fulfilling.
"i hope ..."
what do you say when someone tells you "i hope... " ? do you just answer "ok", or would you stun awhile and think about the true answer?
as much as i would love to give the positive answer so as to minimise disappointment and hurt, sometimes its just impossible to do it. and vice versa. you wouldnt want someone to give you that positive reply just to let you fall from the clouds.
the time time takes to pass can be long to some, and short to some. it all depends on what you do during the time you have. the faster you want time to pass, the slower it passes, leaving you agonizing in its path. i wont lie. the past 3 days have passed painfully slowly. so slow that i could kill myself watching the seconds tick on the clock.
somehow, i tell everyone i believe in fate. what is fate letting me see now?
is it so difficult to put your trust on someone? what is trust exactly? everyone, almost everyone tells me the same thing. i'm getting sick and tired of this saga. what is it about this that only i, and probably only 2 other people believe in? is it right to throw away something that you havent even seen, or bothered to see?
everyone deserves a chance in life, be it fair or not. besides, life is never fair, so how can the phrase "fair chance" be used.
as ethics start to come into play, you find yourself thinking more and more into details. things that you'd give a direct no to previously now resurface, and you start to wonder if in such contexts, it still is a direct no.
what has changed has changed. there's no denying it. 2009 has been an emotional year. but as all emotional situations, they let us grow up and learn more about ourselves. they change our ways of thinking and let us judge situations not by the knowledge we have theory-wise, but by experience-wise.
to think about it, if anyone asks me if i regret how 2009 went, i'd tell them a straight no. i think 2009 has been the best year for me so far. not only just the fact of turning 21, but also how i grow up with situations. from finally learning to cope with stress in school, to the extremely emotional experiences obtained from scamp comm, to the dramas that have been going on right till now, right to learning more about my strengths and weaknesses.
and most importantly, discovering who your true friends are, and where they belong in your heart. some people are just irreplaceable.
♥♥♥♥♥♥ with friends like these, "best friends forever" will just be an understatement.
julianne.
bitch, you know what i want to say. thank you for being there thru the most critical moments of my life. thank you for practically risking your image to bring me happiness. thank you for knowing me so well. and for all my rantings and frustration on the ever same topics, thank you for always being there to listen patiently.
i love you :D
choyau&lennard.
you two have been wonders in my life. thank you for showing me the way and for always being there to protect me and help me. no matter what happens, you two will always be the most important boys in my life.
as 2010 approaches, i look to my future. hoping (yes we cant stop that can we?) that things are just as innocent as they seem. please, let it be as innocent as it seems.
心愿便利贴 - 元若蓝&吴忠明
一天一天贴近你的心
你开心 我关心
一点一滴我都能感应
你是我最美的相信
等不到双子座流星雨
撒满天际
先点燃九只仙女棒代替
最灿烂不一定要许多钻石黄金
看你眼睛有幸福的倒影
把你的讨厌宅急便送到天边
平凡的傻事用了心变成经典
存浪漫的心愿便利贴
贴成无限 就是我们最富有的宣言
把你的喜欢每一天复习两遍
惊喜的语言我的天通通灵验
你和我的心愿便利贴
贴心里面 收集感动 给以后怀念
i want so much to say out everything i feel here. but i have yet to come up with a way to phrase my words. so.. another time i guess.
12.
as i leave for hk, i'm so gonna miss those who have walked with me the past few weeks. these people, have been with me through (especially the past 2 weeks) so much that i feel as if my life would be totally different without them.
i'm gonna miss ju jiamin, lennard cy, ah yen alan and retarded bitchy egoistic nocturnals.
thanks for being there the past 4 months/2 weeks.
a see saw can only have one side up. theres no way that both kids can stay up there, enjoying themselves. one of them definitely has to end up back down.
i was at the playground, staring at these 2 boys on the see saw. looking at their faces when they went down - there was this temporary flash of disappointment, which turned quickly into happiness when they went up again.
law of physics/gravity or whatever laws they are, it is so impossible for both to stay up there forever. how saddening life is.
xx, 我是便利貼吗?
sidenote, another perfectly well written and well composed song that sticks in your mind like a permanent sticky note.
Taio Cruz - Break Your Heart
Now listen to me baby
Before i love and leave ya
They call me heart breaker
I don't wanna deceive ya
If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
Imma tear you apart
Told you from the start,
baby from the start.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
Woah, woah.
this post, as innocent as it sounds
indeed shares one of the best songs of the year.
enjoy.
Cobra Starship - Good Girls Go Bad
i make them good girls go bad
i make them good girls go bad
i was hanging in the corner
with my five best friends
i heard that you were trouble
but I couldn't resist
i make them good girls go bad
i make them good girls go
good girls go bad
Flo Rida - Sugar
my lips like sugar, my lips like sugar.
this candy got you sprung, this candy got your sprung.
so call me your sugar, so call me your sugar.
you love you some, you love you some.
Britney Spears - 3
one, two, three,
not only you and me.
got 180 degrees and I'm caught in between.
countin' one, two, three
peter, paul and mary.
getting down with 3P, everybody loves... Uh!
Daughtry - Over You
well, I never saw it coming.
i should've started running
a long, long time ago.
and I never thought I'd doubt you,
i'm better off without you
more than you, more than you know.
i'm slowly getting closure.
i guess it's really over.
i'm finally getting better.
and now I'm picking up the pieces.
i'm spending all of these years
putting my heart back together.
'cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
i got over you.
FM Static - Tonight
tonight I've fallen and I can't get up,
i need your loving hands to come and pick me up,
and every night I miss you
i can just look up, and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight.
Michael Buble - Hold On
so hold on to me tight, hold on to me tonight
we are stronger here together than we could ever be alone
so hold on to me, don't you ever let me go.
fuck my life.