18/01/2010 @11:23:00 PM
school has started. omg totally horrible.
it's only week 2 and i feel as if my whole sem has come crashing down on me already. i really don't know how i'm gonna last till the end of week 13, until exams.
projects and never ending projects. chem majors don't do projects! or am i wrong?
it's gonna be so xiong this sem i dont think i have time for anything else anymore.
i had lab today. and i realised how seriously packed my schedule is. there's too much lab in a week. and too many lab reports to do on top of everything else. i probably sound like i'm going hysterical, but i hope i'm not. everyday i stare at that pile of notes in ivle, or in my file, or on my table.... i just feel like killing myself.
OMG, SOMEONE DRAG ME OUT OF THIS WTF.
how to pull up cap like that?
someone told me to follow my dreams. everyone has their own dreams. but what do you do when it appears right in front of you? do you take it and go? or ponder on its presence?
sometimes i think that when your life seems to be going well, it's when it's the most dangerous part. happiness is like a thin layer of ice, where one wrong step and everything just flashes apart. just like dreams, they are like that bright shining star in the sky that disappears when the sky is cloudy.
i'm scared. i'm scared now. i'm scared to fall into this hole and end up being stuck in there. i'm scared that the sky will turn cloudy one day. i'm scared that being so close to a dream will eventually shatter your hopes once you lift up a finger to reach out to it.
i don't want to become materialistic, i don't want to be complacent, and i definitely don't want to drown, again.
but saying so much totally doesnt help at all. i should just concentrate on all my projects and reports. but drugs are drugs. once you get hooked, it just pulls you further in.
have a nice school week everyone ((:
and maybe it's true i'm caught up on you
maybe there's a chance that you're stuck on me too
so maybe i'm wrong, it's all in my head
maybe we're afraid of words we both haven't said
07/01/2010 @2:24:00 AM
i close my eyes, and all my mind fills up with, is the music from the symphonic band.
4.
03/01/2010 @4:29:00 PM
a new year, a new start.
a fresh start.
my emotions might have been extremely over clouded previously, but i guess when you learn to let everything go, only then can you think clearly.
its true that it seems like there's no effect on me. maybe it's cuz i've already gotten used to everything nothing seems new now.
with this last week - one week of holidays, one week of freedom, one week of analysis. whether or not after this week everything changes, or everything remains the same, we shall see,
whether the wait is worth it.
whether it's all worth it.